I added to my list of reasons to drink the other night... just thought I'd share. Here's the next 140 reasons!
161 - Because of Staind.
162 - Because of Tori.
163 - Because of Fiona.
164 - Because of Ani.
165 - Because of Dry Kill Logic.
166 - Because of Incubus.
167 - Because of Radiohead.
168 - Because of Nine Inch Nails.
169 - Because of Kevin.
170 - Because I don't fit in.
171 - Because I don't fit.
172 - Because of my family.
173 - Because I live in this house.
174 - Because I'm drunk.
175 - Because I'm not drunk enough.
176 - Because I can't do everything I want to do.
177 - Because I can't do ANYTHING!
178 - Because I can't stop.
179 - Because I'm the only one.
180 - Because I'm not the only one.
181 - Because of the Easter playlist from Kevin & I.
182 - Because of the scars.
183 - Because of the absence of scars.
184 - Because of the silence.
185 - Because I'm inept.
186 - Because I'm good at nothing.
187 - Because I'm good for nothing.
188 - Because I can't give anyone Christmas presents.
189 - Because it's the only thing I can afford.
190 - Because I'm jealous.
191 - Because I'm greedy.
192 - Because I sleep all day.
193 - Because I have hives/bed sores.
194 - Because I'm fed up with not being able to hear.
195 - Because I'm SICK!
196 - Because I have nothing better to do than monitor the online status of those who I can't talk to.
197 - Because I can't talk to people.
198 - Because I lost all communication skills.
199 - Because I'm a social outcast.
200 - Because I'm turning out just like mom.
201 - Because I'm suicidal.
202 - Because I'm not suicidal enough!!
203 - Because that's just want I do.
204 - Because I'm not talented, like I'd like to be.
205 - To forget about my troubles.
206 - To give myself an excuse to bitch about my problems.
207 - To blame it on the alcohol.
208 - To make it seem easier.
209 - For the dead.
210 - When I remember.
211 - Because the TV makes me.
212 - To make things funny.
213 - To make things seem real.
214 - To make life bearable.
215 - Just to get through the day.
216 - Because it hurts.
217 - So I can forget that I wanted to cry.
218 - To distract myself from cutting.
219 - Because I'm awake.
220 - When I can't bear to do anything creative.
221 - When I can't think.
222 - BECAUSE I can't think.
223 - To kill brain cells.
224 - Because I can't get drugs.
225 - Because I'm not strong enough.
226 - Because I have so many regrets at the age of 22.
227 - Because of this house.
228 - Because things don't work.
229 - Because I didn't work.
230 - Because I feel like I can't do my job.
231 - Because I've been working "off and on" at the same place for almost 5 years.
232 - Because I can't handle a full time job.
233 - Because I'm owe money.
234 - Because I owe my sister everything.
235 - Because other than my sister, I wish my immediate family was dead.
236 - Because I depend on everyone else.
237 - Because I'm needy.
238 - Because I HATE being needy!
239 - Because "I want the one I can't have & it's driving me mad!"
240 - Because of Morrissey & The Smiths!
241 - Because of almost all 80's music.
242 - Because of Jack Off Jill
243 - Because that's all I do.
244 - Because my dreams are too big for my reality.
245 - Because of heredity.
246 - When I wish I was creative and artistic and talented.
247 - To procrastinate.
248 - When I want to see blood.
249 - When I'm homicidal.
250 - To medicate.
251 - Because I'm fucking depressed!!!
252 - Because I should be locked up.
253 - Because I've already locked myself up inside this house.
254 - Because I don't have any of the friends I had back in high school.
255 - Because I hate being alone each and every night.
256 - Because alcohol is "my friend."
257 - Because life sucks!
258 - When life doesn't live up to the dream.
259 - Because of the fucked up dreams.
260 - Because of the fucked-up-ness inside my head!
261 - Because I feel like crying all the time.
262 - When I've forgotten how to laugh.
263 - When Wanda's the only person I've talked to in a week.
264 - When even with 100 people on my buddy list, I still can't find anyone to talk to.
265 - When I can no longer hold my head up.
266 - When I get tired of staring at my feet.
267 - When I get tired of staring at the walls.
268 - When I get to the point where I want to tear everything in my room down.
269 - When I contemplate switching rooms again with my brother.
270 - When I see myself still living here at my brother's age.
271 - When I still see myself living here at my mother's age!!!!
272 - When life doesn't make any kind of sense.
273 - Because I don't care anymore.
274 - Because I care too much.
275 - Because the little things DO matter!
276 - Because I "sweat the small stuff"
277 - When I feel like I will remain the same forever.
278 - When I feel utterly hopeless.
279 - Even thought there isn't enough beer to cure what I have.
280 - Because I'm going to die early.
281 - Because I'm not dead already.
282 - Because I'm too weak to just give up.
283 - Because bashing my head against a tree or bricks will REALLY hurt!
284 - Because I bore myself.
285 - When I feel EVERYONE HATES ME!!
286 - Because of the JOKE that I am!
287 - When people say bad things about me.
288 - When people belittle me.
289 - When people just make me feel like the piece of shit that I am!
290 - Because I don't know how to get better!
291 - Because I don't feel WORTHY enough to get better!
292 - Because despite people, I want to get worse.
293 - Because people are right.
294 - Because I'm WRONG!
295 - When it's the only thing I know how to do.
296 - When I can't reckognize myself in the mirror.
297 - When I see things.
298 - Because a mini fridge full of beer looks pretty.
299 - Because I'm fucking retarded.
300 - Because I just CAN'T LET GO!!!!!!!
9:53 p.m. - December 24, 2002
Recent entries:
There's No Place Like Home & Birthday Panic - September 25, 2003
I See Dumb People - August 28, 2003
8 Months Later - August 27, 2003
Christmas Eve - December 24, 2002
The next 140 Reasons Why I Drink!! - December 24, 2002
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